Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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