Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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