You can't special order awesome
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Your penis caused this!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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