i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
