: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
