I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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