Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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