he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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