careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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