I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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