can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
