Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
