im drinking this country out of the recession.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
