just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
