Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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