Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
