margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
