Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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