It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
