all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
