Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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