Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
