Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
