hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
