his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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