Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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