Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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