Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
