We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
