3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
