dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize