I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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