i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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