I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
