I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
wow bdsm is so cute
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
