"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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