I puked a lego.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
