My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
