it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Randomize
