i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hippo gnu deer
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
