My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm sobbing to NWA
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
