I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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