I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
