Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
