i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
