She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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