she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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