Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
