I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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