she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize