If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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