So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
