well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize