My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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