I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize