roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
