you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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